Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm sorry--I didn't notice you there

On 18 September 2007, I came home to a dark apartment. Figuring my roommates were off doing various things, I resolved to find a good, wholesome means of entertaining myself, so I grabbed a beanie, soaked in cold water, and put it on my head, grabbed a second beanie, soaked it in 90% ethyl alcohol and put it on over the other beanie, and then proceeded to try to light my head on fire with a lighter.

Did not work.

I wandered through the still dark apartment into the dark kitchen, turned on the gas stove, and stuck my head into the flame. I couldn't see the fireball on my head, so I really don't know how big it was, but it was bright enough that it illuminated the entire kitchen-dining-living room area and revealed--oh, hi!--one of my roommates spooning with a girl on the couch.

Awkward!

I started for the door.

"Quickly!" my roommate said. "Quickly!"

I had taken the precaution of covering my face and hands with petroleum jelly, so it was hard for me to twist the door knob, but I soon was out in the cool night air. I had decided to light my head on fire because I figured the flame would go upward and therefore wouldn't hurt me, but alcohol, as it turns out, drips downward, so little fireballs started dripping onto the back of my neck. I screamed and tore off the beanie and threw it into the pool, while various onlookers stared in wonder. Luckily, one of these onlookers was the proud owner of a bottle of aloe vera gel, which she kindly lent to me to soothe my neck.

The venture was not without merit, though: I've never caught a roommate spooning since then. That'll teach 'em!

5 comments:

Janel said...

Did you really light your head on fire?! That is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read.

Schmetterling said...

Yes I did.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you!

Janel said...

You're welcome!

Nice to meet you as well, since I've been lurking over on Eccentric Sage for a while.

Chillygator said...

Allie, Carl and I were talking about this blog entry the other night over dinner. We were laughing so hard (o:

If you ever decide to do this again, call me because I want to take pictures!

Schmetterling said...

That was, I think, one of my proudest moments. I can always count on this story to bring a chuckle from someone when conversation is lulling. Of all the stories on this blog, I think this is the best. And it's one of the shortest, too, so it's like a little nugget that people really have to look for.

I'm glad you like it. Unfortunately, I don't really ever intend to do it again. But if I get to feeling crazy some quiet night, I'll be sure to let you know because I really would like to know what I look like when my head's a ball of fire, and your photography could certainly answer me that.