Saturday, March 14, 2009

The lives of others

I spend 10 hours a week in the library, scanning stuff for the professor who employs me. It doesn't take a whole lot of concentration, so I have to find ways of amusing myself when the things I'm scanning aren't sufficiently interesting.

And that's how I developed one of my new favorite pastimes: eaves dropping on the conversations around me. I have learned that any conversation is funny when taken out of context. Here are the ones I've liked well enough to jot down:

Guy: Wait, you were laughing at a funeral?
Girl: The lady sitting next to me was crying and snorting! It was so funny; I couldn't help it! She was like [SNORT]--[hahaha]--she was like [SNORT]--it was so funny!

Girl1: So he has, like, a thousand pairs of shoes.
Girl2: That'd be pretty cool: "Hm. Today I feel like wearing blue shoes."
Girl3: Yeah. But I just can't imagine spending that much money on spray paint.

Girl1: Some people, like, spit in my face.
Girl2: Really?
Girl1: Yeah.
Girl2: Because of him?
Girl1: Yeah. I just wanted to shout, "I'm not George Bush! I'm not George Bush!"

Girl to guy: Well, first of all, you have to be bored and good looking, so we could totally choose you!

British-sounding girl on cell phone: No, no, no: I'm even more allergic to Band-aids now than I used to be!

One guy to another: She said she did wanna date a punk rocker--but I'm like the pambiest punk rocker ever! I'm really just a wannabe....

But my all-time favorite is this one:

One guy to another: Oh, but dude, make sure you don't get too overzealous your first time 'cuz this one girl did, and she ended up throwing up all over the place--just way too much ice cream.

8 comments:

Allie said...

LOL!!!!!!

Love it.

Katie said...

One of the best places to overhear other conversations is on public transportation. Seriously, the things I've hard on my Trax ride up to school . . .

Schmetterling said...

You should start taking notes!

Th. said...

.

Looks like the time is ripe for Overheard in Provo.

mikell brynn said...

hahaha kyle this post was great! this is the exact reason why i don't study in the library, i eavesdrop too and then i never do my homework!

Schmetterling said...

Yeah, I could never study there in the "No SH! Zone." Luckily, scanning doesn't require much concentration.

Jason L Secrest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason L Secrest said...

So, about 2 weeks ago I was walking down the hall on campus and overheard the following:

"Woah!"
"I know! For the first 12 years of his life he pees standing up and now he's a GIRL?"

I'm still aching to hear the context for that one...