Sunday, March 15, 2009

beeBOO BEEP

I really suck at living in the cellular age: I never, ever have my phone on. To keep people from getting angry at me, then, I have resorted to making clever voicemail answerings. Today I made a new one and realized that I should probably preserve these someplace to show off my awesomeness and then complain when people plagiarize. So here you have my collected cell phone voicemail answerings of 2009, starting with my current one, and going back to the one that was on my phone when the year started:

(Piano Man)
Leave a message you're on Kyle's phone
Leave a message for free
And I'll call you back when I am all alone
And need someone to talk to me

(Downtown)
When you try to call Kyle
You are faced with denial
'cuz you just get his
Voicemail
And he doesn't have minutes
So who knows when he'll get it
and respond to this
Voicemail

(Over the Rainbow)
Somewhere in Provo Utah
A man lives
Who's good at checking voicemail--
Sadly this is not his.

(Gilligan's Isle)
Just sit right back and you'll hear a sound
The sound of a little tone
Then you can leave a message which will then be stored
On Kyle Jepson's phone
On Kyle Jepson's phone

(Beverly Hillbillies)
Well, you have reached the voicemail of a man named Kyle
Who likes to make it answer in a musical style
So you can do some singing at the sound of the beep
Because that is your queue from me to leave a short and sweet
[spoken:] Message, that is.

("O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana)
It's Kyle's phone!
Leave a message!
And I will call you someday!

(We wish you a merry christmas)
I wish you would leave a message
I wish you would leave a message
I wish you would leave a message
And I'll call you right back

9 comments:

Katie said...

I hate to admit it, but I'm impressed at the cleverness.

I particularly like the "Downtown" one . . .

Schmetterling said...

Wow. I'm--well thank you.

I was pretty proud of the rhyming in that one.

Lady Steed said...

rat! I wished we called your cell phone more often. I am especially sad to have missed the Carmina Burana one.
There was a great version of Carmina Burana on "A Prairie Home Companion" (March 21, 2009)about winter--very funny.

Th. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Th. said...

It starts about 49:11. You'll like it, lots of other songs get a lyric rewrite too.

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/www_publicradio/tools/media_player/popup.php?name=phc/2009/02/21/phc_20090221_64&starttime=00:31:22&endtime=01:04:26

Th. said...

.

That actually WASN'T me.....

Dan said...

You need to update this, your current message isn't listed.

Schmetterling said...

Current message (to the tune of "Lean on Me"):

When you call up Kyle
You don't get him
You just get this song
But just wait a while
'n' I'll call you back
B'fore it's been too long

Schmetterling said...

While I was on my honeymoon, my answering was to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride":

It's Kyle's phone
Leave a message
I'll call you back when I'm home from my honeymoon

Now it's to the tune of "This Old Man":

Kyle's phone
Sometimes rings
But that doesn't mean a thing
You really oughtta know by now
I don't pick up my phone
Leave a message at the tone